For a long time, I have been wondering about life. Before I cared about self-improving myself, I was happy. Stupidly happy, day after day, I have done nothing that is considered to be valuable. Absolutely nothing. Every day I was playing games, having fun, and occasionally finishing up assignments and studying for exams. Nothing really matters much to me in this world until the event that I became a victim of fraud. Which made me went through an experience of depression. One day, I woke up and weirdly I thought to myself. Why am I still alive, what was the purpose of my being alive?
Living or Just Existing?
I look into the mirror, it was still me. That same old face, same old hair and same old eyes. But it was if I wasn’t looking at myself. I spoke. “A number”. I don’t know why, maybe I always thought of myself as a number, a digit that did not matter to the world. I laughed as if I was crying. I realized one thing, I wasn’t living. I was existing, following the rules of society, the rules of life. A number that did not contribute to anything except for the gains of other people.
Believing in God
There is one thing that I had forgotten, God. I have been to churches on Sundays and I have heard them chanting about the story of Jesus. Well, I didn’t believe it. But it wasn’t God I didn’t believe. I didn’t believe in myself. I went for a walk after a while, wondering my mind off to finding my purpose in life. I sat on the bench of some park, wander my eyes through the scenery. Its actual beautiful, I thought to myself. I looked at the sky and smile, maybe life could be beautiful too. Maybe that’s what God wanted me to know, I spoke to myself.
Purpose of Life 
Days after days, I discover that the world is beautiful through different perspectives, I thought to myself. Sure, my story isn’t really deep compares to other people but I believe everyone could walk out of their darkness stages of life and finding a light of hope. Therefore I begin my search for a purpose of life. I began to wonder, is the goal of my life to grow up and to make money so I can support myself and my family? I began to brainstorm ideas, I feel my life should be more meaningful.
Finding that Little Hope in Humanity 
Many of us all suffered from a tragic event and most of the time we lost our faith in humanity. Believing in a negative aspect of life and creating a personality trend into this behaviour. Funny story is that I have been there as well. Believing that a majority of the humankind is negative or they are just trash, garbage that should be deleted in this world. I used to believe that would fix the problem, but I came to a realization. Our world is a neutral place, it doesn’t belong to anyone except yourself. You are the creator of your own world, seek the light of hope and the world will become a gentle place for your harmony.
 
 

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