Who Am I, Whats My Story, What can You learn from me?

Kiva, a name that I picked up from one of my favorite dramas back when I was younger. It’s not that I don’t like my original name, I believe names have a meaning to them, it just that I prefer people to call me that.

Every person has a journey, everyone including me and you has a story. And every story has a meaningful message. I promise you, you won’t regret reading mine.

October 14, 2016. I was a freshman in university. I had okay marks from high school, averaging from 70-80s. My athletic was alright, I played soccer and basketball in high school despite the fact I am only 160 cm in height. Either way, I was a pretty normal person, who did not know shit about society and trusted basically everyone and anyone. My only interest was gaming and watching anime, which taught me a lot of skills later in my life.

So, October 14, I remember this day like it was yesterday. (I don’t really remember yesterday… but you get the idea). It was night time, around 6 pm, after I finished my classes. I checked my phone, a message showed up through WeChat (its more of a Chinese app). I got this message, it was a female, she was asking if I wanted to meet up. Of course, as an 18-year-old, single desperate male, I say yes.

She sends me a location, she said to meet-up at the nearby shoppers’ drug mart, so I did. 6:30ish, I arrived. She’s not here. So I texted her, asking where she is. She then messages me that she was in a crisis, she needed money, wonder if I could help her out in exchange for some private business. (Again, I was a single, virgin male. so I agreed. And I was stupid as fuck too.) Anyway, it turns out to be a fraud, and they took advantage of me and eventually I lost $2,000 Canadian dollars. (Yea, I know I am a retard back then.)

So whats the point of this story? Well, first, is to learn not to be stupid and second there is more to it.

Well, they kept on threatening me that they will murder my family and all that crap that the 18-year-old me kept believing in. So NEVER EVER be scared of bullshits. I learned that the hard way. Eventually, it reaches 12 midnight and my parents called me because why the hell is their kids not home at 12 midnight? Hoping not doing drugs. They came to pick me up and drove me home. I told them what happened, they yelled at me. That night, I cried really, really hard until my voice cracked, that I could not cry anymore.

I then told my friends, and that is when you actually know if your friends actually are friends. All of them was saying it’s okay, it’s going to be alright. But I could tell, I developed the emotion to tell whether if they were actually calling me a retard or not. And let’s just say, I even wanted to call myself a retard.

My life ended there. I did not know what to do. My parents are disappointed in me, my friends are a bunch of fakes, I had no goals nor motivation to move in life. I wanted to die.

Around 2pm, I was still sitting on the edges of my bed, covering myself with a blanket. My phone ding, it was a message. It was from a friend in China, she asked what happened and I told her the same exact story that I told everyone. I thought whatever, you don’t care anyway. But her response was different. And this is what I want you guys and gals to learn.

“It’s okay, you made a mistake in life, but let’s get on with it. Don’t waste your life just because you made one bad choice, I’m happy that you realized your mistake.” – Momo

All you need is one person to change your life.

If you read this far, thank you.




22 Ryerson University Student. Finding Purpose + Achieving Dreams + Self Developing.

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